All right. Let's just take a moment to be serious here.
Some of the questions I’m most often asked are:

”I think I have a ghost, how can I tell?

One of the best first steps, if something odd happens, is to start being an investigator. Write down the time, date, and what occurred. Start thinking like a reporter and consider a number of possibilities for "What did you see?" (or "Is it a ghost?). You have to consider: 

1. Could you have misperceived something from the environment? Example: Often car headlights can reflect in odd ways into a house and make for moving lights. Likewise, houses and pipes can make odd noises. Faulty electricity can cause flickering lights or tingling feelings.

2. Could someone be playing games? Family members and friends often play tricks on each other. No harm is intended by it. So, you have to ask, was it real? 

3. Could it be place memory? The environment is like a VCR. When conditions are right (especially when strong emotions -- either positive or negative -- are involved) it can "record" things which others, depending again on environmental conditions and a person's ability to later read the input (how psychic they are at that moment) means that you can see or get impressions from the past. This is very different from a ghost because no consciousness is involved. One clue is that if you "see" an apparition it doesn't interact with you and goes through the same repetitive actions every time. It's like watching a TV show rerun. You may start the tape in a different place each time, but the plot and characters don't change. Be aware that living people, and not just the dead or dying, can "record." A good way to get rid of an unwanted place memory is to have a great party and "record" your new vibes over the old show. Alternatively, painting or redecorating (or for that matter using an old fashioned VCR bulk eraser which disrupts the magnetic field) can also eliminate or minimize old recordings in the environment. 

4. Could it be an apparition? There is a lot of overlap with this category and place memory. The difference is that in a few cases, poltergeist agents (human beings) can use their OWN PK to create an apparition. It doesn't have consciousness per se. Generally you need to deal with the person creating the apparition (which is often unconscious) and/or interpersonal family dynamics. 

5. Is it a ghost? If it interacts with you (for example, the ghost's eyes get big and it runs away) then you probably have living consciousness, i.e. a real "dead guy." 

If you have a ghost, there are a variety of ways to deal with it depending on question number two: "What do you want?" 

Possibility 1: Do nothing. This usually involves people who either like the ghost being around or don’t mind the ghost and just want to know what is going on.
The latter can learn to ignore it, much as a person living next to a highway can tune the noise out. There are cases, like restaurants and hotels (especially in Europe) a ghost can actually be an attraction and they WANT the ghost to stay. In which case, you may choose to do nothing. 

Possibility 2: You may not want the ghost to hang out. After all, if you believe in reincarnation it's not in the ghost's best interests to hang around. It needs to move on. What I like to do is to 1) make sure the ghost knows that he or she is dead (you'd be surprised how many don't) and move them on to the light, or 2) ask them what they want. Sometimes they just want to communicate something. After that, the ghost is happy to leave. Rarely, people who are opening up psychically will mistake their spirit guide(s) for a ghost. Guides are supposed to be with you and moving them on is not going to work. They’ll just come back. It is rare, that you get a hostile ghost. These are the kind of ghost you most definitely want to move into the light. In dealing with them, you need to remember 3 things: 

1) Possession in nine tenths of the law -- you live in the house, it's no longer theirs and they need to get over it. It's yours. Period.

2) You have everything they have an more because you have not only a spirit/consciousness (just like the ghost) but a BODY too. They are at a disadvantage here. You have more to fear from another human being than a ghost. All a ghost can do is try to frighten or annoy you into hurting yourself. Be firm and they'll realize you have the upper hand.

3) The imagination has power. You can use your imagination to "see" loved ones coming to take them away, or even ask your guides/angels to move the entity on. It's really not in the ghost's interests to be stuck. That means that any guides around (theirs or yours) will be willing to help you to get the ghosts to move on to the light.
If worst comes to worst, you can annoy them one way is (repetitive knock, knock jokes these have been known to work, let alone singing "It's a small world after all" over and over). Remember, the same things that annoy us annoys them.